Syntax Arm Wrestle

Masturbating in the absence of professional optometrists endangers the sobriety of waterlogged store clerks. 

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Read not my drivel for i have lost all syntaxical ability!

How far I’ve jumped underhandely only for cupcakes to be flavoured infrared!

This journal-scribble reminds me of candy

And praise myself surely should I not having had such an idea which to my delight assures me the appeasementability of my nonsensical poetry?