I wonder; is hiding ones reaction unhealthy?
Allow me to elaborate;
I am versed in the skill of hiding my “fear” when around other people.
When a person scares me (unintentionally), my heart races, I almost jump out of my skin,
But the person wouldn’t know because on the outside I am as still as a mouse.
One becomes a master at masking their honest feelings when the world constantly crushes you, and you develop a mistrust, a deep suspicion (is anybody watching me, waiting to see me “being weird”)
On the other end of the scale I seem to scare everyone in my family because I walk (as my mother says) like a cat. (Not literally, I’m just really quiet, my foot steps light, my breathing calm)
I am incredibly conscious about the spaces I occupy, making sure I do not stand out, (a protection mechanism; because nobody bothers a ghost)
I rather enjoy my ninja status.
But I need to solve my anxiety problems (will I be less of a ninja when/if I do?)
So many decisions I make on what I wear and how I talk seem to be a muddle of aspergers and anxiety, so I don’t know where MY identity starts and where the effects of social ills have affected me begin.
Here’s to figuring that out.
P.S.: What are Lumbersexuals attracted to?