my headache has got me

“How are you?”

The first thought in my brain is; ‘honestly? Uhm, several things really. I think. I feel nothing yet as I think about it maybe I feel anxious… How AM I? Uhm…’

*clicks fingers* “excuse me, I asked you a question, How are you?”

I file through the list of pre-recorded tapes and respond; ‘I am fine.’

Blank out into the fake blue sky and notice the trees look different when there’s a storm coming. Stoic almost, the bark is darker, the plastic rolls down the streets and the air is icy, wind strong too.

_I’m fine, and you?

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coal black dog swan

I’m having a lot of coffee. From the moment I wake up. Bottomless cup on the glass table. I sleep well, I wake up fine, I want to wire up and dress down and drink something that’ll touch me months later.

Curling up into a ball of anxious spaghetti mess.

Jittery teeth, nerves raw, do not caffeine like some compensate overtly.

I’m tired of making sense.

So many lies.

Peel off all the layers off.

False starts.

I want to be there. And make it work, this noggen.

My one knee is a man and my elbow fancies itself to be a woman.