I am altogether unmoved by the physical appearance of the opposite sex, with the face remaining a surprising exception to this ‘general sexual-aesthetic indifference’;
It is not to say that I cannot appreciate the physical dimensions of the body. On the contrary, ’tis this very element; which I take note of the most (in a rather excessively scientific manner), and laud.
But it is As one would take note of a stocky and intimidating grand oak tree; with its far reaching and low hanging branches, the hard and richly dark bark which emits a strong earthy odour, and perhaps more romantically; the impression such a wonder of nature imprints upon the mind.
A more animated example would be the ever extraordinary humpback whale (or any other -whale genus/species group) in all their individual grandeur!
My sexuality and its previously assumed certainty has been undergoing a sort of existential trial within me.
All things which were once arousing or attractive have shifted under the gaze of my aspiescope (a microscope examining all behaviours which mirror NT’s or otherwise)
I believe this is a natural process many go through. Particularly those who receive diagnoses which shift their perceptions of themselves or raise that inner curtain.
All is digitalised. Music and cute animal babies are untouched are untouched. They escape the calculations that I make on the constant about everything from writing a story to appreciating beauty.
If I were in a movie; there would be numbers and angles and equations hovering over my head.
The golden ratio is up my alley.
I feel as though this post had a tinge of negativity; but in all honesty it is a journey I quite appreciate. For the more I know my true self; the better I can fly, navigating the world using my own eyes.
Rather than store bought eyes made in NT.inc factories for the likes of neuroatypicals such as myself.