Mathematically Speaking

THE neutral state of mind. Slumped shoulders, don’t know how to take initiative, the sticks’ lost the plastic carrot.

After months of deep lows, a few highs, this “non-event” state feels like anticipating paint drying.
Ironically it’s the state I wish for when I feel depressed, but when it arrives…

Enter mind altering substances…

I walk by the booze store. Money in my pocket, just, looking for a little shift in my head-space.

The fearlessness is great, and unlike coffee, I sleep well through the night after the affects have worn out.

BUT… I walk on by the store… Anxious and fearing the idea of becoming dependant on the liquid courage.

Sporadically I drink and may this diary entry shut up and quit asking “who cares?”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s